

#WIZARD WITH LOTS OF SNAKES HOW TO#
The entire scene is dominated by a rambling vision of Harry's in which he conquers the American continent with a telescope, teaching the natives spells, "and they in turn teach him how to fly across the continent at ridiculous speeds. As Harry goes to retrieve a winged key at the finale, Neely narrates that Harry goes into a waking dream-like trance. Neely narrates Harry's daydream climbing his parents' giant rotten wedding cake thanks to Dumbledore's body ("using his old ribcage, mouth sockets and such for footholds"). One of the most elaborate divergences is the sequence where Neville ("the boy known as Upfish") loses control of his broom. Harmony is allegedly decapitated and resurrected without those events occurring onscreen. Another such scene is where the trio of young wizards encounter Fluffy for the second time and are about to jump down the trap door. Instead of regaling Hagrid's encounter with a strange man in a bar, Hägar tells of how Val-Mart impregnated him with the egg, resulting in his survival of a shark attack. One such scene is where Hagrid (" Hägar the Horrible") is explaining Norbert's egg.

Neely segues into multiple fantasy sequences that have nothing to do with what is actually going on in the film. It is Hägar the Horrible, the nightmare of hair, a wall of a man." The Porktown family scuttles into position, but what busts in the door is far more than expected. The soundtrack uses heavy descriptions of events, including events the viewer can plainly see: "Blam! Blaam! Blaaam! at the door. The work makes extensive use of simile: Professor McGonagall (" Hardcastle McCormick") is described as having a voice that is "chilling, like a piano made of frozen Windex," while her "eyes float like smears of fish-scales on her candle-wax stump of a head" the face of Voldemort (" Val-Mart") "moves like a marmalade baby just out of the womb." Hermione ("Harmony") is repeatedly described as incredibly ugly, Snape ("Snake") is referred to as a hideous woman, and at one point, Neely simply remarks that " Ron loves Twizzlers." (Ron is almost always referred to as "Ronnie the Bear.") A range of other insults see less consistent use, and Harry is also described with various symptoms of dissociative identity disorder, at one point "leaving his multiple personalities in the locker room." The use of spells receives similar twists, with Dumbledore ("Near-Dead Dumbledore") casting the "stand without effort" spell due to his advanced age, while Harry casts the "rarely used winter-begone spell" at a scene transition between winter and spring. Numerous references are made to characters taking out unseen flasks or drinking alcohol, and Harry is mentioned as being "drunk every day before noon." He also repeatedly affirms that he is "Harry fucking Potter". At one point, Harry calls himself a "beautiful animal" and a " destroyer of worlds". Harry himself is repeatedly referred to as a god, references are made to the "stockpiles of nuclear-level energy" that are his powers, and so on. In Wizard People, Dear Reader Neely's writing ranges from simple childish mockery, to criticism of the acting and set design, to awkward metaphors, to over-dramatic philosophical speeches. Carrie McLaren, whose website promoted the work, claimed that Neely's use of appropriated plot, characters and themes interlaced with humor constituted a separate work of art in its own right. reportedly told theaters which had scheduled a performance of the show that further movies produced by the studio would be withheld unless the dates were cancelled. Rather than taking legal action, however, Warner Bros. took action against theatres that had rented prints, and forced them to cancel the shows. In the following year, Neely also performed Wizard People live in several cities, until Warner Bros.
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Shortly thereafter, website Illegal Art made Neely's work available for free download. In 2004, the New York Underground Film Festival rented a print of the film from Warner Bros., screened it with the sound off, and played Neely's soundtrack instead. Then I took a week or two and made the damn thing. Once I started making notes for it I realized that an audio track alone could get boring, so I decided to sync it with the movie.

I joked that night that I was going to rush home and record an entire misinformed book on tape of The Sorcerer's Stone, because I had not and have not ever read any Harry Potter books. Someone who I don't think was me said that he was listening to a book on tape of Harry Potter. So we started riffing on "What could he possibly be listening to?". Brad Neely, in an interview with Chief magazine, described the beginning of the idea as follows: Īnyway, we were at a bar and were getting a good laugh at a guy who was playing pool all by himself while wearing a hoody over his hat, sunglasses under that and headphones on the outside of all of it.
